It's the dog days of summer. Wouldn't it be cool if you actually became a dog during the dog days. Kind of like a vacation from the stress of being human. Rent past due, so what? High gas prices, who cares? Taxes too high, fuggedaboutit. Your worst problem would be fleas that you couldn't quite reach. Anything else you don't like, just piss on it.
I'm not sure what kind of dog that I'd like to be. I could be a bulldog like my high school mascot, but they look a little bit too much like Winston Churchill. I used to own a beagle which would be a great dog to be. Eat, sleep, run, sniff around, get head petted, play with rubber bone; it's a full day. I saw a picture of a puggle which is a cross between a pug and a beagle. That might be a good dog. I definitely would not want to be a wiener dog. That would just be embarrassing. Truly what I would like to be is a wolf; particularly if everyone else was a dog.